These last two weeks, I have slowly but surely felt myself drifting away from God. It has been… Just a struggle. And I realize that we have times, moments, where we go through the motions and we lean away from what is most important to us. What matters most to us. Sometimes, even from our faith.
With stresses from work, home, and things going on in my family, I sometimes forget to do little things like pray in the morning, or read the Bible, or just feed into the relationship I have with God. And we are only human and things happen. But I’ve come to realize that these little things add up into it being that I’ve surely just leant away from God.
See, I keep on calling it leaning away because I like to think about it like we are both sitting on this bench and we both have to sit evenly so that the bench lays flat and perfectly. When one person leans away the bench starts to tip in their direction and they slowly start to slide/fall off.
That is sort of the picture I get in my head of what it is like when I am leaning away on the bench I sit with the Lord. And I don’t want to fall off the wonderful bench I’m sitting on with God.
I know I have lent away from Him when I feel the following ways:
I wake up with a void, like something is missing.
Throughout the day, when I know I haven’t been giving my most to Him, I feel guilt. Like if I know I’m wrong. Or even those days, like last Sunday, I pressed snooze on my alarm clock before church, thinking in my head, maybe next Sunday, and suddenly felt guilt (and got my butt out of bed).
Everything’s falling apart
No sense of control. I tend to feel like everything around me seems to be falling apart and I don’t feel peace through out those times.
I am afraid. During these times I tend to feel fear of what might happen. The future. The right now. Everything. This is my biggest sign that I’ve leaned away from God.
I tend to feel flustered and angry. I’ll snap at my husband for no reason. I’ll get aggravated when something as simple as someone accidentally bumping into me happens. I just feel constant anger.
I don’t feel like anything is going right. I get frustrated because I can’t seem to do anything right. I keep breaking things. Or I can’t even get my hair right. I just feel frustrated about anything and everything.
This one is one of the big ones for me. When I start feeling tired of feeling all of the above, it’s just a big realization that I am taking everything on my own and not letting go and letting God. This is a key factor that sometimes I think we have to look at especially when it’s very sudden.
Sometimes we have to open our eyes and realize that God being the center of our lives is the best thing that could happen to us. He balances everything out perfectly for me, and without Him, I’ve seen the bigger picture and I don’t like being apart of anything without Him in my life. He gives us the peace we need to stay strong, stay in control, and feel joy despite what may be happening around us.
I hate feeling like things are falling apart. And I definitely hope that if you’re reading this and you feel like I feel, that together we can pray and get back on track!