My husband and I are a dual military couple. In other words, we are both active duty in the military and we are married to each other. There are so many things that come with both of us being active duty and married. We have our super good and fun days and moments, but we also have our horrible and terrifying days and moments.
I’m not going to lie, our schedules SUCK sometimes. Both of us being in the Navy, it gets pretty rough especially when there are lots of days that we might go without seeing each other. Right now this is what our schedule looks like:
I wake up at 03:30 or 4:00 am, and I’m out of the house by 4:45 am, and I get home at 6:00 pm on my good days, and 8:00 pm on my bad days, sometimes later than that. He wakes up at 3:45 pm (YES PM) and is gone for work within 15 minutes, and he gets home at 8:00 am. So lets see… Where in that schedule do we see each other? Oops, we DON’T! These are the seasons in which we are working opposing shifts. When he is on day shift, we leave for work around the same time (he leaves about 30 minutes earlier) and we get home within a few hours of each other. Sometimes, it really super sucks. But there are things that outweigh the suck.
Pay As A Dual Military Couple
The pay is great for both of us being together. Never mind the fact that everyone wants to put their 2 cents in and tell us that one of us shouldn’t be getting paid. (Eye roll: I work for my paycheck just as much as he does and I DESERVE my paycheck). The higher ranking we both get (obviously) the better the pay. And the more years we are in the Navy, the better the pay. We are truly comfortable and have nothing to complain about when it comes to money or military pay.
The benefits are just too good. We both get school paid for (we’re both in college). We both have Tricare. Thank you God for that! We both get taken care of. Both get the option for TSP. ETC ETC. We’re not considered each other’s dependents by law, so we both get our own benefits which can also be passed on to our kids when the time comes for that!
Oh man, I don’t even know where to start. This is a sticky spot. Sometimes, it’s tough because to get stationed together it can be difficult to get us a sea- shore rotation even though the instruction calls for it. So right now we are on a sea-shore rotation. He is sea duty, and I am shore duty. But in a few months, we are going sea-sea. We are both going to be deploying making it complicated for us. With pets, and living situation, it just gets super messy and we always have to find family or friends to help out in those moments. We hate thinking that we will be deploying one right after the other, or even at the same time. It’s like: what if I come home one day from deployment, and he had left for deployment and I had no way of knowing. THAT sucks.
Being that we are both in the Navy, it’s great because it’s easier for us. We both know exactly what we are talking about when we use Navy slang, or when we are trying to tell each other stories of things that have happened throughout our day. We understand the things that we go through and we know what we mean when talk about things such as our Evals, or Mid-terms, or even Instructions. It just makes sense, and it gives us a better sense of communication. We have the same fears, and we share them and get through them together. It’s not like trying to explain things to my civilian sister, if I’m trying to tell her that I am going through something, I have to describe what everything means before I can even get to the point, and by that time I’m exhausted and I don’t even want to talk about it anymore.
We have been in competition for the last few years. Who’s going to pick up rank first, who’s going to pass this test first… etc! It’s great and it makes the career fun. Right now, he’s in for the win. (Another eye roll). He’s higher ranking than me. So we will see how it goes.
Every time I attend one of my husband’s events, or he attends one of mine, we knows how to act. As a dual military couple, we know the professionalism and we know how to greet peers and co-workers. We knows when to stand up at ceremonies without our spouse having to tell us when. There are just things that we know that save us the awkward moments, or the embarrassments we’ve seen some of our friends go through and laugh off later. I’m not trying to shame anyone, but it really does happen sometimes!
Getting stationed together can be pretty difficult sometimes, especially when the military doesn’t really want to help out with the fact that you might be dual military. Or, there are more important factors that might affect that and well, you signed up for it so you have to do what you have to do. Currently, we are stationed together, but I work three hours away and have to transit the three hours EVERY DAY. Now that we are going to a new duty station it’s a little different, and we will be on the same base. But we now have the downside of both being deployable at the same time. So it can be all over the place.
Sometimes being dual-mil won’t work in your favor, but it’s about MAKING it work that counts. You have to fight to be together, and you have to come to an agreement to make the relationship work. Eric is my family, and I am glad that we both understand why sometimes things don’t go our way. We signed up to do what we do, and we are happy with our decision.