“Your marriage is going to fail”
“You’re going to be a completely different person by 25”
“You’re just a child, honey”
“You’ll fall out of love”
These were just a few of the terrifying and mean things that I was told before I got married. My husband and I got married when I was barely 19 and he was 22. I felt like almost no one was supportive of us getting married young, except for my parents of course.
He did the right thing, he asked my parents for my hand in marriage and later that night surprised me with a beautiful big fat ring!
One of the most memorable nights of my life.
Now, it’s not the same for everyone and I’m not saying that’s how it should role for you. But I am saying that for us, we felt that this was the right way of doing it and we felt it was important to have the marriage blessed by our rents.
My hubby and I had been together for only over a year when we got married. And something a lot of people ask me is, “How did you know he was the one when you got married? Didn’t you want to try and get to know other people first?”
Now, the moment I knew I wanted Eric to be my husband and the moment I knew he was the one were two separate moments.
I knew I wanted to marry my husband this one day over Chinese food. We were sitting with fortune cookies in their plastic bags in front of us. He popped the plastic open, and I watched while he stared inside of the fortune cookie without breaking it apart.
“What are you doing?” I’d asked him.
A few seconds passed by with no response, when suddenly he had the fortune in one hand and the unbroken cookie in his other hand.
What in the world?!? Yeah, I know right.
“You have to get the fortune out of the cookie without breaking it, that way it’ll be true,” he said.
And that day, staring across the table at him, a stupid fortune cookie made me realize that I wanted to marry this guy. All the little weird and amazing things he did made me love him more and more everyday. And the fact that I still struggle at getting that piece of paper out of that stupid cookie makes me love him even more.
Now, the moment I realized he was the one was a completely different moment.
When I was younger I used to pray to God and tell Him the kind of guy I wanted. How I wanted him to want a relationship with the Lord and to love the Lord. This was very important to me.
So one morning, I received a letter from Eric (we were long distance at this time), the letter explained how he had realized that he wanted to learn about God more, and learn to love Him more. And I remember tears suddenly coming into my eyes as my heart swelled with all this emotion because it hit me that he hit every check in my list.
Yes, I know these moments may seem silly, and small but in my heart they were such big moments. They were OUR moments and what made us… well US.
WHY DON’T YOU WAIT TIL YOU’RE OLDER TO GET MARRIED?
Love doesn’t have an age, a number, a time, or a place. Love happens when it happens. And love happened for me at this age and I chose to embrace it. What am I waiting to be older for? To have more gray hair?
WAIT TIL YOU TRAVEL THE WORLD BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED?
Why would I even want to travel the world alone anyway? I can travel the world with my wonderful husband. Everything I do, I usually want to do it with him by my side. And traveling the world with him by my side has been one of the most amazing experiences for us.
YOU ARE GOING TO CHANGE BY THE TIME YOU TURN 25.
Yeah, and you are married and you are going to change in 5 years too. We are always changing and always growing. That’s never going to stop for absolutely anyone. My husband and I have grown and changed together. And it’s been one heck of an experience. Yes, we are different, but yes we still love each other because would you stop loving your siblings and stop being siblings because they changed? Nah.
STATISTICS SAY MOST YOUNG MARRIAGES END UP IN DIVORCE.
Okay? What’s your point? If I’m going to get divorced, then good thing I knew I didn’t want this relationship earlier rather than later. With that in mind, I’m choosing this commitment because I want to be in it, and I know what it comes with. Statistics are just another set of numbers. If I spent my whole life looking at statistics I’d never do anything again because I’d be too busy looking at the negatives in everything in life.
WHY DON’T YOU FINISH COLLEGE BEFORE GETTING MARRIED?
Why don’t we BOTH finish college? I don’t think I’d have gotten as far as I have in my degree if I hadn’t been married honestly. We both push each other to finish it, we are both finishing it together. Geez, it’s not like we have to babysit each other making it impossible to do our homework.
WHY ARE YOU MOVING SO FAST TO GET MARRIED?
Why are you moving so slow? Life is SO short that you blink your eyes and it’s literally gone. Why would I wait 10 years to decide that I want to marry you if I already know that I do? What’s all the waiting for? Are you waiting for the world to end? Are you waiting for the sky to fall first? If you are waiting to see if you’ll meet someone else, then you shouldn’t be in this relationship and you definitely shouldn’t be marrying this person.
WHAT IF THERE’S SOMEONE ELSE OUT THERE FOR YOU?
What if this is the someone else that I WANT?
I don’t regret getting married young. I feel like it was a wonderful decision for me. All the stuff that young people go out and do, I never have to do alone and it’s AMAZING! I love my husband, and knowing that he was the one for me was one of the best things ever. I’m not trying to say that we were just getting it out of the way, but when you know YOU KNOW. And we knew.
If you are young, and you are considering getting married, remember that with marriage comes work. Hubby and I have hit some tough spots because it’s not really always easy, but it’s been great because we are getting through it together. Love really does overcome all.