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I remember the first time I had a broken heart. It felt like my heart dropped into my stomach, I couldn’t breathe, and everything was gray instead of black and white. I kept playing the same songs over and over again reminding myself of the silly boy that broke me in the first place so that I could keep crying about it. Almost like if I enjoyed the tragic feeling. I remember the very next day, I stayed in bed and my radio still had the same songs playing over and over and I continued to cry. I didn’t want food, I didn’t want to take a bath, I didn’t want to move. My friends came to visit me, they tried to talk to me, give me advice, tell me it would be okay, but I wasn’t hearing it. I didn’t care. Anything they said felt like a waste of time. I felt like I was worthless even. My boyfriend of just over a year had been unfaithful with one of my closest friends. So yes, I felt pretty worthless. I remember my sister bringing me a tub of chocolate ice cream and I remember putting the big spoon in my wide open crying mouth as I complained to her. Pathetic is what I felt.
But I also remember the day I got over it. I woke up, got out of bed and realized how stupid I was. I was so tired of laying there and just crying over a silly boy. Broken hearts are all the same almost. They’re broken, they feel pain, they hurt. Some more than others. Some sharper than others. I promise, that I know it’s the worst pain in the world. It’s the worst thing that is happening today and right now, and that is probably why you are reading this. But because you are reading this that means you are also one step ahead from yesterday. One step ahead from laying in bed, and mourning the pain. So here are somethings that helped me get past this heart break:
1.) I let myself cry. A lot, for a whole day. Because that’s what I wanted to do. Be that pathetic person that people tell you not to be. You need to let it out, you need to mourn. So cry, lay in bed, listen to that same song over and over again, don’t take a freaking shower if you don’t want to. Call in sick to work, or school. Do it. You need to. Tell yourself it’s your fault if that’s what you feel. (Yes, terrible I know). This process may take a day, or maybe even a few weeks. I’m not saying call out everyday but take a day or two to call out.
2.) Eat some ice cream. I’m telling you. The cold hits your brain, and it just numbs something inside. Imagine the ice cream making your heart cold like a rock. You need it to make your heart cold like a rock. Besides, it also gives you a reason to be unhealthy because you deserve it after what you just went through.
3.) If the ice cream made your heart get cold. That means you are angry. Anger is good. Because you are one step forward. Be angry. You deserve better. This isn’t your fault. You don’t need this. So go ahead, buy some plates, grab a few friends, and break them. Throw them as hard as you can and shatter those things. (Do this away from kids and wear some shoes). Break plates, cups, glass. (Not your favorite china though.) Go tear your room apart too while you are at it. (Don’t break anything in there though because then you have to buy and replace it and you will be even more upset). Get angry. You deserve it. It helps soothe the pain.
4.) Go pamper yourself. Get a massage. Get a mani, pedi, wax if you need it. Make yourself look good. Get a new hair cut. Do something different. And be HOT. Look HOT. Because you are HOT! This other person that hurt you, betrayed you, left you, will miss you. And it will feel so good. And go buy yourself some flowers! Love yourself. You deserve that chocolate. You deserve those flowers. Do it for you.
5.) Clean your closet. Weird I know. But organize your closet. By color, by shoe type, by item. Start by taking everything out completely. Get rid of stuff you do not need. Get rid of stuff that you haven’t worn in forever. And put all the empty hangers together on one. Spray some air freshener in there as well and put some baby powder in those stinky shoes. When your done with that closet, maybe move on to the next. Like a storage closet or something. Organizing your closet is like a fresh breath of air. It reorganizes your heart as well. It works in funny ways.
6.) Take a hot shower in the morning. Shave. Brush your teeth. Eat breakfast. A good one. It’ll wash off all the bad things.
7.) Whenever you feel that pain, that hurt, take a deep breath and count too four. Tell yourself you are breathing in good things, good vibes. And then swallow and breath out and count to four again. Breath out all the bad things, all the pain, all the hurt, all the bad vibes.
8.) Laugh. Youtube funny compilations and laugh. A lot because oh my goodness laughter is everything.
9.) Get a pet. My dog always senses when I’m sad. So a pet for comfort is always a great thing that helps. Replace the old with something new.
10.) Look at a list of descriptive words so that you know exactly how you feel. When you see that word there’s something about it that is so… just relieving.
11.) Meet new people. No, not a rebound, that is not what I mean. But meet new people, make new friends. Meeting new people makes you want to have a good first impression, and makes you want to hang out and go out! It’s something new, different and it feels like an improvement. Your adding things to your life in places where you feel empty.
12.) Look in the mirror and tell yourself how great you are and smile at yourself. It’s weird and awkward but when you do it everyday you actually start to believe it. And you have to believe it because it’s true.
13.) Walk. A lot. Exercise hard and tough. Energize all your pain into that specific step, or that specific squat. It is so good for you. Hike and feel that reward when you get to the top of that mountain and see the beauty.
14.) Talk about it. Write about it. It helps so much to just let it out. Don’t hold it all in. Talk to a someone. Go to a coffee shop, write it all down. Take a break from the real world.
Heartbreak isn’t anything easy to go through. It’s tough, and it sucks. But until you can move on from it and feel stronger, and until that pain becomes less there are just so many things you can do to help. It might feel like the world is ending, and there are people around you moving forward like nothing happened but I promise it gets better. You will look back and realize how much stronger you are because of it.